I dole out my bitterness as one who always strives
While the urchins offer thankfulness as those who daily die.
Constantly my striving leads to fruitless gain
While sheer dependence is the goal and ought to be my aim
Throwing pennies to the wind while distracted by the din
Is tossing diamonds in the dirt like some forbidden sin.
Knitting together the future and tying up the past
Combined with what is here and now, the battle lasts and lasts.
Tho somewhere in this heart of mine once was a gaping hole
Tho now occasionally I see what looks to be a soul.
Looking at my body, the outside looking in,
I see myself a knotted heap that is all wrapped in skin.
Seeing the dark inside me, knowing my selfish ways
Helps me keep my silence lest I lead someone astray.
A handful of my bitterness, a breath of pride -my shame
Marks me as a broken girl who finally sees she is lame.
As if as leg were broken, my heart is twisted up
As if my weakness were an aid
In getting my bonds cut.
I pass out my graceless attitude as if it were a prize
While the starving see the hope at stake and never let it die.
I pass around my meager mindset with plenty at my feet
While beggars scrounge amidst the trash for anything to eat
-By Brenna Swoboda
