The Color Green

Picture this: A forest, overgrown and tangled with branches of large, deep-rooted trees tangling into a nearly impassible (and certainly unpleasant place to go through) net. It is dry and the life of the forest is dying because the roots and branches and stifling and choking out any youth...And then one little spark, whether on purpose or by design, touches the dry leaves and twigs and -sizzle-. A forest fire has begun. Unstoppable and sweeping through the terrain, mercilessly devouring the contents of the forest. Then eventually burns itself out when there is nothing left to feed its flames.

Tragic. The forest, whose greenness and beauty and unique wildness once made the eyes that looked on it widen in awe, now gone. Sad...the desolation, the quiet, the dead-like stillness...

Things like that happen in life sometimes. I'm sure you have noticed how some things get so tangled and mangled or so large and unkempt that they just burn to the ground. Sometimes those things need to die in us. Like they have gotten so out of control that they just need to tangibly burn away.

So burnt stuff is what is left. Greeeeat. Now what?

The ashes and charred wood and the rotting things that are left over from the fire are a type of decomposition. The fire has broken them down into things small enough for other plants to use as nutrition. Decomposed materials are like fertilizer! Okay, so great, now we have a place were a forest used to be, and fertilizer. Gooood. But what is missing?

The seeds. In some cases for trees, the seed shells are SO hard that it takes the intense heat and brutality of a forest fire to break them open and allow them to start growing.

Lesson on botanical life and cycles officially over. So what am I saying though it, though?

Allow me to make this analogy: There are things in our lives that are the like the hard shells that wont break open and let things start growing. Pride is a really good example of that. Pride hardens us to change, to new things, and binds us. Sometimes God allows there to be some sort of fire that happens in our lives or hearts. It hurts, but it is also the only way we will finally be broken and begin to grow in that area of our lives. And Jesus' forgiveness and grace that He gives us is the fertilizer for that growth. It fuels it so that it is actually able to happen. But the thing is...that growth can't happen until all the other tangled mess is out of the way.

Now I hope you understand this:

Brokenness (perhaps specific) + Forgiveness (Received, Given, or both) = Growth

This idea can be applied to my life and to yours, too, I'm sure. My hope for you is that though you may find yourself broken at times, I hope that you will accept the Grace of God, live in it, and be opened to grow in whatever area of your life it may be. The beginning is the perfect place to start. God supplies you with whatever you need to grow. And there are good seeds just waiting to sprout. May your roots go deep, your trunk be strong, and your branches reaching wide.

The F-word

I can just about see your face. You're thinking "What?! The F-WHAT?!" Haha. But yes, the F-word. So now, instead of dancing around it, I'm just going to say it. -Forgiveness.

I just want to spend some time going through some things about forgiveness that have been on my mind lately. Things like: what IS it? How does one DO it? How many times must I do it? MUST I do it? Why is it so hard at times? And many more other questions. But let's start at square one (and that, of course, is God since God initiates/begins/starts/programs/creates/designs everything and is He (Jesus) is a flesh and blood example for us. (Though He is SO much more than just an example, truly.)

God offers us eternal life through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Who, because of his Love for us, died so that we may be forgiven of our trespasses (aka sin), in order that we may have relationship with God.
Point number one: Forgiveness comes at a price. For Jesus, that price was death. He actually physically suffered and died to pay the price for my sin and yours. And I can tell you from circumstances in my life where I have forgiven people of things done against me, it cost me a price to forgive, too. To be quite honest, the price is often to not allow myself to hold anything in my heart against them, not indulging in dark thoughts about what happened, and getting rid of the desire to keep them away from me. That's a price of sorts. It is an effort, it spends energy, etc.

But despite any cost, Jesus paid the ultimate price so that there COULD be restoration and forgiveness. As a Christ Follower, I am called to live as He did -even if that means dying like He did- and through my life, to show His love and His forgiveness. Forgiving is worth it.

Something that really caught my attention was the completeness of forgiveness. Think about it. If it isn't entirely forgiven, then it's not real forgiveness. If you say to yourself, "I will forgive this, this, and this part...but not that", then tell me what good your forgiveness is.

What forgiveness is not: Forgiveness is not saying that the deed committed was okay. But rather, that you won't hold the deed against the offender. Are ya gleanin'? When I was thinking and praying about forgiveness, I would think "That was NOT ok for that to happen." And in truth, no. It wasn't, and no one was asking me to be okay with it. But we ARE supposed to forgive. Not so much are we "supposed" as we ought to have a desire to forgive. Why? Because God has forgiven you/me/us of so much more disgusting/horrifying/dirty things than what we forgive each other for. And because He has been so incredibly gracious to US, we, in turn, should be rearing at the bit to show that same grace to others.

Yaaaaaay.

Forgiveness is a difficult thing because it is preceded by a detrimental event that may be as petty as a blow to our pride, or as weighty as physical or emotional hurt. But the good news is that my King is a healer and restorer! And He is good at it, too! God can take any hurt, yes ANY, and make it into something good. Example: Friendships/relationships can be stronger than ever before after going through a fire. But once on the other side, and when there has been forgiveness, deeper relationship is restored and cultivated.

Conclusion:
 Forgiveness can be difficult, but when it is given and accepted it is a beautiful and God-honoring thing. The hurt is real, but so is the healing.

Sweetly Broken

A few phrases I've been hearing a lot coming out of kids' mouths... (yes, as a matter of fact I DO consider myself a "kid", so I'm not erroneously exempting myself from this statement. haha.) ...Anyway, the phrases are such as these, "Epic Fail", "Faaaaaail.", or this is a good one: "Soandso failed epically." and you get the idea. Failure. Most of the time we use these words just for fun, in sarcasm, or to "embellish" a story. (aka, exaggeration).  But, thinking deeper into what the words really mean, if you were a failure, what would that mean for you?


There are a LOT of examples I could use in my own life to illustrate what failure for me would look like, feel like, and what I could/would do about it. But I'm pretty sure, especially if you happen to be every bit as human as I am, that you have examples from your own life or past or prolonged failures that are surfacing in your mind as you read.
 It's horrible right?! I mean, why does stuff like that happen to us? It was awfully humiliating...We might never live it down! The mess-up practically made the paper! The failure made us feel belittled, stupid, and a whole string of derogatory emotions. And, and, aaaaaaand, you thought I was going to talk about failure being a bad thing, didn't you! Well, surprise, surprise, here I take a turn:
Failure breaks us. 
And God uses broken people.
WHY ON EARTH would God want to use BROKEN people?! What good does THAT do? The answer is "a whole lot, actually". If we are broken, we have come to the accurate realization that we can't handle it all, we are not superheros, and frankly don't know what we are doing compared to an amazing Designer King.


 In the book called The Mystery of God's Providence, it says that "Whole, unbruised, unbroken men are  of little use to God." Sometimes the only way God can work real brokenness in us is by failure. I can look back on my 18 years of life and point out very specific times where I have been broken. The sad thing is that it's happened more than once and God breaking me continues to be necessary because as soon as I "get it together" again, I lose sight of Who is really in charge. Being broken leaves me knowing that I really need God and am utterly dependent on Him to pull me through. It's humiliating,  but I can see that because of my pride, if God wants to use me at all -if I want to bring Him glory with my life- I can't be sporting the attitude of arrogance.
Here's the quote again. "Whole, unbruised, unbroken men are  of little use to God." 


Sometimes the only way God can work real brokenness in us is by failure.
I have heard it said that God created the human spirit so dynamically, so in-depth, so very richly that once sin entered the picture, the human spirit aspires to BE God. And because of that aspiration, sometimes (oftentimes) it is necessary for God (who is WAY more incredible than we are) to break us of our arrogance and pride so that we can actually do incredible things in His power, not our own.


Another thing, (this one is a little intimidating since we pathetic people spend a lot of effort on doing things when it's not about what we've done at all!) but, God is not against using an entire lifetime to break a man or a woman because the ultimate purpose (divine design) is HIS own glory. Thank God that there is Grace! But God is more interested int the worker than the work. He is after the Heart of the worker rather than what the worker (aka you and me) actually do. (That's because if the heart is right, good things will spring from it with the right motivation, but that will probly be a separate post.)


Soooo. I just typed all this out and what was my point? My point is that if you are a person who is broken (like if you have a broken heart, have failed terribly, and feel useless and needy because of it) the YOU are in mint condition for God to work in your life in more incredible ways than you can imagine. I know for myself, that is hard to wrap my head around...but it's true and actually comforting when you think about it more! It's like, "Hey! I don't have to have it all together! Cuz God's gonna work through this!" Just trust Him in your brokenness and through your failures.