"If I Die Young"

You may or not be familiar with the song title I have selected to be my title for this post. That's okay. The song is "If I Die Young" by the Band Perry. Personally, I love this song  but something happened the other day that makes me think much more deeply about young death (as it is portrayed in the song, and in real "life").
When was the last time you felt deeply about death? When was the last time you ALLOWED yourself to feeeeel about the subject of death? I know for myself, that I try to keep those feeling at bay. I try to keep them from coming into the "ports" of my mind because they are unpleasant, I don't understand it, there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it, and that death is much too...weighty a matters to think about for too long. But sometimes it is necessary to take honest evaluation of ourselves and see what we are actually living for. 


I didn't know him personally, and I don't even know exactly how old he was, but he was in between the ages of 14 and 16 years old. Yesterday he was alive. Today this young boy is a memory in the minds and a hole in the hearts of his family and friends. He, this person that I never even knew..is gone. Gone. This boy with just as much value as myself, just as in need of a Savior as me...today he's gone. His death was sudden and completely unexpected, and his ended life leaves a gap in many people's hearts. Not to take anything away from him, but that could easily be you or me. I feel like I have so much to say on this, but when it comes down to it, my heart simply aches for his lost life. Why does it take a lost life to show me that how we are running out of time in this life to show the absolute wonders of a God who defeated death to people headed straight for it..?  Why does it take a death to make me realize the value of a life?  :(


Now, concerning death, we can't press the "panic" button, because God is ultimately in control and he plans good for us not destruction. But we can't be careless and satisfied either!  I wonder now how many times I walk through a store and show God's love in nothing that I do for other people. But then they might leave the store, get hit by a car and die -never having seen in me the Love that Christ has for them... You might be thinking "That's just morbid. cut it out." But morbid or not, it could be true. And as uncomfortable a thing sudden death is to think about, it IS a possibility. Can you deny that? What if the electric impulse from your brain didn't reach your heart two seconds from now? (Haha. You just waited two seconds to see if you were still alive. Admit it.) But no really. Like I said, God is in control. He has his eyes and his hand on you whether you like that idea or not. But each breath and heartbeat you have is a GIFT from Him.


Don't waste your life!


Our lives are a vanishing mist, and there is no promise of a tomorrow. So why do we live like we are immortal? It is true that we will have eternity (Heaven or hell. Take your pick.). But what about the time that is given to us NOW? 


I pray that God shows us how utterly dependent we are on Him, and how terribly gracious He is to us every day in every way. May that motivate us to live for what is most worthy. WHO is most worthy. The most high God. May we trust Him.
 You, God, know the number of my days. Don't let me waste them.

Disturbed

This poem pretty much speaks for itself. Obviously, I didn't write it, but I hope it provokes some thoughts in you:


Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.


Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

      attributed - sir francis drake -1577

Your God is Too Small

I heard that phrase once. "Your God is Too Small" (and I think it's the title of a book, but I'm not positive on that one.)  But I heard it said and much to my amusement, as I look back now, I had instantly pictured myself standing before God and all I could see was the tip of his finger. (please, picture it with me. :) No matter which way or how far I tilted or turned my head, there was this never-ending finger. He was huge when I thought of Him that way. Haha. But even on that line of thinking, the way I imagined him was too small. He's bigger than my imagination could possibly conjure up. Go ahead, imagine God however you will, but then realize that how you see Him is much too small, far too weak, and way too simple compared to how He really is.


Now, speaking in terms that are less...literal, I suppose, your God is too small.  How do you know that the God that you have a relationship with is too small in your head? Well, what are you doing that you don't think God could handle? None of us would actually saaaaay that, though. It would be like saying, "God, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to back outa this one, I got this. Don't worry, chill out, take a break, and I can handle this." But we say this all the time. If you are thinking "what?! I do not!", let me ask you when was the last time you knew you ought to pray or seek God about something, but didn't. -


--- For example, I've been making college plans, stressing over them, and thinking about what I would like to do, etc. I kneeeeew I should have been seeking God for these plans, and actively trusting Him with my worries, but frankly, I forgot to pray. I forgot/didn't a lot. (You can ask my mom, it's true.) But when I didn't go to my Father about this area of my life, my actions were telling him that I was trying to handle it myself.  Whether we say "God, I got this." out loud or think it or not, when we don't trust God for EVERYTHING, we undermine who He really is, how big He is, how powerful, great, wonderful, mighty, just, loving, caring, gracious, etc. because we either like to do it ourselves, errantly thinking that we can do it best, or  because our minds are lazy, we have stopped trying to realize the extent of who God is.


I can look at an algebra problem/equation (sorry to bring math up, since I know we just got out of school.) and be instantaneously overwhelmed by the x's, y squared's, formidable decimals, something cubed or to the nth power divided by some symbol that means something else, and of course they want to graph it eventually....and then a whole string of directions about what to do...  I would stare at it for a moment, start hyperventilating, and then run for the nearest inhaler (at least..I would if I had asthma...). I probly hadn't even picked up the pencil yet, but I would already be ready to give up. -----  To say the obvious, God is bigger than that algebra nightmare, but at that time I'm having some trouble seeing past it. If something like that (or anything material, emotional, mental, spiritual, or relational) seems too big for you or me, we are thinking too small. Not that we could ever think big enough, but when I realize that my God is bigger than everything else in size, power, importance, or whatever, it puts things into perspective, and I am compelled (in a good way) to worship Him as He made me to do.


We are called to worship him. Why? Because he is worthy. How is he worthy? Look around you. He created all that. In the beginning...he said "let there be light, and there WAS LIGHT." Who else do you know who can simply speak things into existence? 
No really, who? Being in awe of God is worship. Not that we will ever ever grasp the awesomeness of God, but worship is trying. Worship can be you in the bathtub with water scalding your skin and you trying to dodge the boiling drops of liquid as you reach for the knob to make it cooler, but you think, "Wow. Wow. The nerves in my skin work great! Wow, God, You made that. I don't get how they work, but they work! and You do know how! Wow."
 Worships is getting to know Him better, worship is doing what He did, and worship is looking at a situation/circumstance and saying, "God, I know you are even bigger than that. So I'm gonna trust you with it and obey you in it, because YOU are bigger than I can fathom." God is indeed bigger (and many many more other adjectives) than we give Him credit for, so let's give Him the credit/the worship he deserves, and stop trying to handle our things in our lives ourselves.

Windows to the World

Ok, since it's my style to just jump in and get to my point, here is a quick intro to what I'm gonna be talking about here:


I was driving home from work in a certain '91 Pontiac 6000 LE (also known as "Google" -If you can figure that one out ;), and as I was praying and asking God to help me see things as He does, etc. I got a picture in my head that was of people walking around in boxes. In one side of each person's box was a window that they could look through. This idea applied directly to what I was praying about, but I think it also applies more broadly to all of us, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to share.


People walking around in their little boxes, viewing the world through their little windows... I felt that the boxes themselves are the lives we put ourselves in, the patterns of thinking, and they determine how open we are to accepting things outside of our "little worlds" or in this case -boxes. But the window is the detail I want to focus on more, here. Some people's windows were bigger or smaller than someone else's. Some windows may be foggy or cracked and inhibit how well someone can see through it. 


Now the problem ISN'T that someone's "window to the world" might be big or small or more clear glass or cracked, or dirty, or whatever. I repeat, that is not the problem. The problem isn't that they have windows. Every person HAS a window -aka, a limited view. They can only see what is in front of them.  The real problem lies in when we think that our perspective (what we see out of our windows) is all there is. When we think that how we see it is how it is, that we comprehend a whole situation, and that there are no other angles to be covered or things that we might be missing. When we do that, we make ourselves gods.

However, the truth about this is that God is the only one who sees the whole picture, he doesn't even HAVE  window because he sees EVERYTHING. his perspective is the only one that matters, because it is HIS universe. Nothing is hidden from Him. He created us as finite human beings and we have limited viewpoints. Our windows are little and we tend to be blinded by them, though we often think that we see things the right way. But that is us putting ourselves on a higher level than we are. When we think we see it how it is, we are are trying to be God.

Look at the world and all the chaos created by people walking around thinking they know best...

The ways we see things (situations, events, and other people, opinions, etc) separate us from each other. We each walk around in our own little boxes, bumping into or off of things that get in our way, going through them, or around them. 

Windows = perspectives. So my question for you as well as myself, is "What is shaping your perspective?" Fears, your temper, your prejudices, hate, jealousy, love? Blinding love that keeps you from seeing the truth? Love of self, money, or some other person? Is it mercy, compassion, or what? Think about it. The list could go on and on.


I don't know about you, but for myself, I do not want to live my life in a blind little box with a crack of a window. I would rather step out of my box, live life out loud, unhidden, and open. I want to have a broad perspective, but I want to also always know that God is the only one who sees it all -and in that, TRUST Him for everything since He does see everything. Since He is that One who is in control and isn't limited in any way. 


My prayer about this is that those of us who call ourselves that people of God would take up His perspective on every matter we encounter in our lives and that we would trust Him for what we think we see and what we don't.

A Piece of Canvas

A Piece of Canvas

I am a piece of canvas...

Once blank, but am no more

I have been put to use, you see,

Here spread out on the floor

I am a piece of canvas

Dirty, marred, and stained

I keep the foot-prints off the wood,

and catch stray drips of paint

I am a piece of canvas

I've laid here quite awhile

The brushes, cans and other tools

In heaps, on me, are piled

I am a piece of canvas

Feeling lonely, used, unseen

Until You come and pull me out

And wash me until I'm clean

I am a piece of canvas!

I'm clean! A stunning white

Whatever use He puts me to

I know it will be right

I am a piece of canvas

Hoisted high onto a mast

I'm stretched and taught, a useful thing!

And waves below me crash

I am a piece of canvas

Angled full into the breeze

The thrills, the gusts, the waves, the sky!

I fit this perfectly.

-By Enna

The Inside Revealed

"...surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is?...If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am..." -C.S.Lewis Mere Christianity


Ok, my mom told me about this quote and I had to find it for myself. I did, and had to stew on it for awhile. But this is what I have been thinking concerning this quote:


What C.S. Lewis is saying here is that the yucky stuff inside of us is best and most accurately revealed before we have time to put a mask/disguise to cover up the bad stuff inside us. His words make me picture myself going to my basement door and opening it and flicking the light on just in time to see a hundred rats dashing for cover. (Imagine scenes from the move Ratatouille instead of your own basement, if you prefer, but the point of it being YOUR basement IS kind of important here.) Anyway, I can't help being somewhat disgusted by discovering how infested my house is when I see the rodents (can you say "understatement"?). But now I have a choice. 


Option number uno- I can turn the light back off, shut the door and move a bookshelf in front of it to hide the door....until the next time I need a can of peaches.


Option number dos- I can dash for the bathroom, wash my hands four times in a row as if I had touched one of the creatures and tear off in search of the phone and the number for the nearest exterminator.


OBVIOUSLY, the second ("dos", por ese puebas quien no tienes la ablilidad leer espanol) is the better of the two. I daresay embarrassing for about a week when all my friends might be saying "Soooo, I saw an exterminator pull into your driveway the other day and he was parked there for a looooong time...what was THAT about??", but in the long run, I will be rat-free and have learned a valuable lesson about keeping the depths and rarely viewed parts of my house in order. But if I went with the first, I would STILL have rats. I may not seeeeee them, but the problem is still there regardless. 


In the same way, things like tempers, prejudices, hate, profane language, and all those other negative things in our ever-so-human characters are like the rats in the cellar. We can hide them all we want, but sooner or later, those issues will be revealed. And when they are it reveals what is REALLY inside us, what is in our deep places. The "provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am", C.S. Lewis says. So then instead of putting a fake covering over our issues, how much better for us would it be (in the long run) to deal with, reject, train ourselves away from, confess, and learn from our "ill temper"edness, etc. 


I'm NOT saying that you need to perfect yourself. HA! What happens when imperfect things try to perfect things? There isn't much hope of perfection with that...Instead, invite the Perfect to help you! His grace is sufficient for the worst of tempers, the deepest of hate, and the most ugly of prejudices, so we have no excuse to keep them.


[Sort of a side note here- a point that says alot thanks to Rick Hein: Similarly(because of our reactions revealing what is in us) to what C.S. Lewis was saying,  when there are troubles in our lives, it tell us what we are about by however we react. Do we run to God and desire His glory above everything, or do we say "Oh GOD!  Just take it away!" ? If we respond by asking God to remove troubles from our lives, it reveals that we are really are about ourselves, our own comfort, or own agendas, etc. ]


To close, I heard an analogy one time of: If you step on a rose, a sweet aroma will fill the room. Likewise, if you step on a skunk...an aroma fills the room with that smell too. My hope is for you and for myself, that if I am stepped on, that good, pleasant things will come out, instead of ugly things. 

Question: Not too Hot, Not too Cold = ?

Answer: Lukewarm (yeah, so you might have heard that term before, read on.)

Note: The excerpts I have used are from the book Crazy Love byt Francis Chan (mainly the chapter "The Profile of the Lukewarm" (which is a self-evaluation tool. I repeat "SELF-evaluation). Other excerpts as marked are from the Bible. I found this very helpful for myself, so maybe you will, too:

"Lukewarm people tend to choose what is popular over what is right when they are in conflict. They desire to fit in both at church and outside of church; they car more aboutwhat people think of their action (like church attendance and giving ) than what God thinks of their hearts and lives" (pg69).

What people think versus what God thinks...hmmmm. Which one carries more weight? Also, God is concerned with the HEART. (The reasons/motives behind what we do, our passions, our attentions, what we desire and love and what matters to us.)

"Lukewarm people are moved by stories about people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act..." (pg70)

"Anyone who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins" (James 4:17). Nuf said.

"Lukewarm people gauge their morality or "goodness" by camparing themselves to the secular world. They feel satisfied that while they aren't as hard-core for Jesus as so-and-so, they are nowhere as horribe as the guy down the street" (pg72).

"The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men -robbers, evil-doers, adulterers- or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get' " (Luke 18:11-12).

It's like saying, "God, thank you that I am not as bad as [insert name here]. That person has issues, sins alot, and is such a faker."  Now instead of being genuinly grateful for being rescued out of sin, we are judging others. :/ (btw, that's not good.) Kind of like if the thought crosses our minds "well i could be worse" or even somthing like "at least I'm still a virgin" -we're making ourself out to be better than we are/not feeling bad about current sin in our lives/and we are certainly not filled with a desire to be more like God. 

"Lukewarm people love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. Their love of others is typically focused on those who love them in return, like family, friends, and other people they know and connect with. There is litle love left over for those who cannot love them back, much less for those who intentionally slight them , whose kids are better thletes than teirs, or with whom conversations are awkwerd or uncomfortable. Their love is highly conditional and very selective, and generally comes with strings attached." (pg73).

For me this passage was a big "ouch". I was forced to consider how many times I had avoided so-and-so because of potential discomfort, judged someone, been hurt and my first impulse was to withdraw my love for them, or make conditions on my love. I can remember actually thinking "well i will love them if..." Immediately, in this context the two letter word "if" slaps conditions on our love for someone. Just imagine if Jesus had done that when He thought of us... point is God's love is unconditional, sacrificial, and open to us. If we aren't going to be lukewarm, the the "who, how, when, and why" we love others must be the way God loves. THis is how He showed his love: while we still despised Him, He DIED for us. 

"You have heard it said, 'Love your neighbor and hate you enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in Heaven." (matt5:43).

[Mental wheels are turning...hmm. maybe I'll write more on love itself at a later time. lol]

If we love God (... yes I actually did say "if") then we will want to do what He does and what He wants us to. Let me change the wording slightly: WHEN we love God, we actually DO do the things God does and wants us to. We don't do things first, we do things in response to what He has already done. 

"Jesus replied: ' Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' this is the first and greatest commandment" (matt22:37)

God wants all of us. Every fiber of our being, every breath we breathe, every thought to be for Him, every want and desire to be centered on HIM. Not however much we think is "enough to get us into heaven". lame. He is not satisfied for us to lukewarm. He wants us to love Him with our heart, soul, and mind.

I hope maybe you have gotten something helpful out of this. I recommend Crazy Love to you.

So I was reading this great book...and you should read this. ;)

So I was reading this really great book and....

it was 1 Samuel 15 and in it goes a story along these lines:

The the word of the Lord came to Samuel: "I am grieved that i have made Saul king, because he has turned away from and and has not carried out my instructions." 

Previously Saul was told to destroy ALL of the Amalekites and leave NOTHING alive. However, he saved the best of the livestock and the king from death. Apparently he intended to sacrifice the good things to the Lord, but frankly, he was disobedient to the Lord. 

When Samuel came to meet Saul, Saul blessed him and said "I have carried out the Lords instructions!" then Samuel pretty much said "liar!" God prefers obedience rather than sacrifice. Now lets think about this.

Oh to grieve God!  Ah!  How lightly we treat what God thinks1! honestly! it's ridiculous how we don't consider what God things about things. Saul thought his idea of sacrificing and keeping the best of the cattle alive could bring God more glory than doing what God told him to do. 

It makes me wonder what I have done against God's instructions. We err when we think that we can do something to make it up to God.  "oh, well, He told me to do this...but if i do it this way instead, He'll still get what He wants." How disgusting is that in our human nature? that for one, we think that we can make ANYTHING up to God. riiiight. and for two, He's God so...He kind of knows best, yeah?

Who are we kidding when we say "well, everyone! I have carried out the Lord's instructions!" when we don't even do what He tells us to. really. And he calls us His kids??? When we do that we're denying who is really in authority. we discredit what Jesus has gone through to make it so that we can have a relationship with Him. And not just some "God, I'll call you if i need something, thanks -waves-" kind of relationship. no no no. a deep, intimate, all knowing, vulnerable, trusting relationship. Geez, really! think of that. The kind of relationship you can have with the person who MADE you, know "knows your inmost being", who "formed you in your mothers womb", who designed your body down to the smallest freckle and who made you with a unique personality. that God wants to know you and wants you to know Him intimately. no secrets, a beautiful and wholesome relationship. Sounds great huh?

But when it comes down to it, we still mess up. God saw it fit in Saul to make him a king. Saul screwed that up by losing sight of obedience to God. I think that is the start. Where things reeeally start going wrong is when we disobey. after that it's just down hill from there. When we aren't accountable to others, it it sooo easy to let yourself roll down that hill, and yes. it is Very hard to maintain obedience. Fortunately (hahah, you guys are gonna not like this next statement. lol ) but FORTNATLEY God gave us parents to practice with. hahaha. Don't shoot me. And if you don't think your parents are that for you then think again. but still, if not, you have teachers, workers, mentors, friends who will kick you in the butt if you need it, bosses, older co-workers, and friend's parents that i'm sure would love to tell you what to do!  

God says "obedience is better than sacrifice"(1sam.15:22). I think He means it. Not easy, but Saul's disobedience caused God to GRIEVE. agh! I personally hate to disappoint anybody. I do when i have to, but i reeeeally don't like it. I know that sinking titanic feeling that comes with disappointment and i hate for anyone to have that. But that's how God feels when we disobey Him. When we don't follow HIS instructions. 

Frankly, God doesn't need your help in planning, decision-making, or direction. He's got it all under control, and when we take the wheel out of His hands, it doesn't do anybody any good. -especially us. Look at Saul. " Saul rejected the word of the Lord and the Lord has rejected [him] as king over Israel" (1sam15:26).

God has grace for us. Jesus' paying the price for our disobedience allows God to have grace for us. But given that grace, should we continue disobeying? if we do keep disobeying and offering out pathetic little sacrifices (that God, being who he is, does NOT need), that reflects that we think the price Jesus paid wasnt' good enough and we have become selfish, self-centered, hypocrites. 

I'm talking to myself here too. I have disobeyed God I have followed my own instruction over His when i knew clearly what God had spoken for me to do, and STILL I disobeyed. I lied. I grieved God when He made to to bring Him glory. Instead I grieved Him. He never asked me to do something I couldn't do, but I gave him less than my full attention and heart. i was a rebellious kid who deserved to be spanked(to put it lightly), but instead, God showed me love and grace and because of His love and His grace for me, I want to bring Him joy. not grief. So my prayer for myself and for you is that we be done with this disobedience crap. Do not merely listen to the word of God and deceive yourself, but DO what it says. Do not say "i am obedient" when you are not. 

SO I pray, "Father, your mercy is great! and how often I have dishonored you, yet still you love me. Help me to be pleasing. Obedience is scary, cuz

A Jargonsome Discourse on the Existence of a Higher Being (an introduction to the beauty of insanity:)

I am going to have a little fun with some jargon-ish language.

In one of the courses i'm taking at the college the words "reasonable", "intelligent", and "conclusion" crop up quite alot. I was thinking it might be fun to use such words in the same manner, but for a different purpose. One that is more clear and straighforward. An intelligent, reasonable conclusion. Sounds boring, ey? Bear with me a moment. haha! Think of it as an opportunity to laugh at people who think the way I have this worded. :) Then giive it a shot yourself. It's fun.

Here it goes mine.

Should a person ask the question "Why would a person who exhibits intelligence in some sphere of his life believe in the existence of God?" This would be the discourse (a literal discourse? ha. you had no idea what you were getting into when you started reading this note.) that would be my reply:

It is a reasonalbe and intelligent for me to approach the conclusion that there must be  in existence a higher being since 1. if there were no sense of order and control in what we see as our world, it would be much more chaotic than it's current state. 2. Chance itself is not a reasonalbe basis for knowlege.3. Because of the order exhibited, there must be a source of control. This source is not me. I am clearly not in control. 4. You aren't in control either. Admit it. Therefore, in considering all four of these things, it is reasonable for me to come to the conclusion that there is a being of superior intelligence that exists.

In following that line of thought, I must then ask that if there is a God who is higher, then there must surely be some evidence of it. For if not, this God would either be silent or dead. However, because of how he has revealed himself, it would be UNintelligent and UNresasonable [not to insult anyone's rationale here, just following a pattern like many people who make habbits of offending people. -bows-] for it to be assumed that this Higher Being were any less than living. He has revealed Himself through an exhibition of control, design, order, nature and miracles ("natural" versus "unnatural") one must come to terms with and come to the acceptane of God's existence. -Even more so for myself since one of the said miracles is how my life has been utterly transformed by this God. I have experienced something beyond human comprehention.

Therefore, it is not only intelligent and reasonable for one to accept the reality of God's existence, but it is necessary if one does not want to live his life out in a delusion.

End notes:

And still, all of this is just the beginning.

God does not need my help proving Himself to others. In being Who He is, he is in no way limitted to my inferior capabilites. He will and has revealed Himself.

None of this fully or even remotely explains a person's (aka, MY) passion and zeal for this living God. However, I must leave that to be explained for another time.

Because of the "intelligence and reasonalbeness" of my conclusion, I have zero reason to be ashamed of my belief in God.

There is so much more good news and I would love to tell you about it.

Again, I am not trying to prove that God exists. He has already taken care of that.

Lastly I want to state that the best news that we hear is news that is outside of understanding and reasonablilty. Reason and intelligence are merely tools were are given to use. They mustn't become a god to us, lest we lose sight of better things.

(I hope you have enjoyed my discouse. Feel free to comment with opinions, reactions, and whatnot.  I have rather enjoyed putting this together and would love any feedback.)