May Those Who Follow After

For those who come behind me,
I pray thatyou would see
My life mirroring His glory,
And this you strive to be.

May those who follow after,
Not see greed or hate
For if these things take up your heart-
Poor will be your fate.

For those who are still young,
P'raps not in age or time,
I hope you will remember
that He said "you are mine"

He asks us to serve Him wholy,
A calling true and great.
He loves and deems us worthy
Even through our mistakes.

Because we are not perfect
And never always right,
I pray you follow Him alone,
But not in your ouwn might.

You're blessed- I hope you see that.
Poor you never are.
For in His grace and mercy
Rich love is never far.

One day you will notice
Just as i have found,
A younger child-who looks to you
with feet treading the ground.

When you see this gift so great
I pray what you would do,
Is lead a life of godliness
Should they want to be like you. 




- Brenna 2009

Surrender

Oh, sweet Surrender,
What is this peace I've found?
The fight is finally over,
And now the joy abounds.

My anxious heart is taken,
Surrendered to the Full.
My beating heart was shaken,
But now is truly whole.

Happily am I weak
Surrendered to the Strong
Just because I've given up,
And now all doubt is gone.

You see when you are fighting
You fight until you break,
And once you're finally broken,
Grave things are then at stake.

I was broken from my fight.
One i couldn't win.
I gave myself completely,
And now such Love I'm in.

I'm dead unto myself.
It's not a morbid state.
Because i am yet so Alive,
In Him i trust my fate.

In Surrender i shall stay-
In what Grace has given me.
Oh, what peace and joy i have
Cause it's where I'm supposed to be.


-2009 -Brenna

The Grief in Halted Growth

One evening a topic came in a group of adults whom I look up to (haha, I said "adults" in my head as if I were under the age of 18. Not only do I not see myself quiiiite as an adult, but these adults also apply in what I'm gonna talk about in this post.)


One woman happened to mentioned that she wished that her grandkids would freeze just how they are and stop growing so they would stay like that.
 When she said that, I was suddenly shaken by the tragedy that frozen growth would be... Nothing against what she said -those were legitimate sentiments she expressed, but there was some sadness inside me as I imagined children who didn't grow any more.


Basically, if the children DID stop growing, there would be this feeling of grief involved. Halted growth. Premature ending. A potential for so much more...but instead nothing coming next.
How much more must God feel that when we allow ourselves to stop growing, or when he puts something in front of us for us to go THROUGH and we just kind of ...don't. We gain nothing by not being tested and refined by difficulties. Often, through those hard times is when we grow the most.
How much more might God feel grieved that we aren't growing that I feel when I consider children not growing. "There is so much more!" He feels. "Don't stop here!". His heart must ache and cry out to us to not settle for less than His best. Don't just stop growing.


A tree doesn't stop growing even when it is all grown up. I'm no botanist, but a huge, mature tree might not get any taller, but it's still growing. It's trunk is getting thicker and roots keep getting deeper and deeper, because if they didn't, soon the nutrients right around the roots in the soil would be depleted and it would starve. What would a tree be without it's roots growing, spreading and gathering what it needs to live?
Ultimately that mature tree is there to produce fruit, just as we who are called "sons of God" are to produce fruit in our lives. But if we don't deepen our roots in the Truth of the Gospel and the Love of Christ, what nutrients will we have to produce fruit?


A huge part of the beauty of young children growing is because of how temporary it is. It can only can be held and beheld for a moment, tender and precious. And suddenly that fleeting moment is over (Suddenly they're not quite as cute as they used to be, the get attitudes, become independent, etc.), therefore it is tremendously valuable. And while it's precious, retarding that change is not the goal. 
I am reminded that we are to come to God as children, sons accepted by Him, but also that we mustn't always be babes craving milk, but get ready to take in solid food. That involves maturing and growth.  


It's a process. There's more I feel like I could say about this, but I think this is enough to chew on for right now.


Every day I wake up a little differently that I woke up the day before. Not that they routine is different, but I -who I am- is different. I hope that the growth that occurs in me is for God's glory and that the growth never stops. And I hope the same for you.

Binding Freedom

Freedom is binding
Being bound is free.
It's a hard thing to fathom,
But p'raps some will see.

To what extent is freedom lent?
How bound to be until trapped?
How is our freedom so easily spent,
And then in chains are we wrapped?

Freedom itself is a gift,
In bindings a blessing is found.
You are free to decide
To what you will be bound.

Shiny Side up and Between the Green

I very recently interviewed a couple for an assignment in my Marriage and Family class. This post is basically the paper I turned in to go along with the assignment, but with some minor differences making one more blog appropriate and the other more assignment appropriate. But my hope in sharing this with you all is that not only will Steve and Jan get to see basically what came of the time they let me have with them, but to share some (only SOME) of the great stuff they shared and said to me.

My paper went something like:

I chose Steve and Jan to interview because they are an older couple whom I respect greatly for not only their solid marriage, but for the times that they have spoken wisdom and encouragement into my life. I received both of those things and more the evening I sat on their couch to interview them. Later, when I stepped off of their front porch after the interview I was so full of sound advice, wisdom, encouragement, and joy from the manner that they spoke and related to one another that I thought I was going to pop.

I asked about fourteen questions, but each question led to a story or example which in led nicely to other questions, and it was a nice cycle that kept us chatting. I learned that they have been married for 40 years, they got married at 22 (Steve) and 20 (Jan), and had their first child 9 months and 15 days after they were married. When I asked if they thought the ages that they got married were good ones, Steve said, “We were young…but we got to grow up together.” Jan was in agreement. She expressed that it would have been nice if there had been a little more “growing up” time together before their first baby, but looking back she wouldn’t change it. However, she nailed having a baby so soon as one of the hardest changes for her in their marriage.

Though I wasn’t surprised by their answer to my question “What were some of the best times in your marriage so far? And what is something that helped you along in tough times?” because of my own experiences, I was amazed at the confidence they had in their answer: “The best times were the ones where we had to depend on God the most. The best times and the poorest times often were the same because we realized that all that mattered was with us –our babies and each other and that through everything God is faithful.” I asked how each one had changed the other in some way and Steve joked, “Oh, not at all!” Jan laughed and swatted him with her hand, but then they answered more seriously. Jan said “I learned the power of submission that is outlined in the Bible. It’s not a weak thing.” Steve’s answer related to that very much and was “I learned that ‘our decisions’ are better than ‘my decisions’.”

When I asked how they were different from each other, it led into a discussion about whether or not people who were the same could really work out in a marriage. They both agreed that they are very different from each other and that their differences help them work together. Steve said, “It’s like sand paper and wood. They rub together, get smoother, and actually make something over that time of friction.” Some specific differences they said were their family backgrounds and Jan said, “He has a temper. That is something I had never seen in my dad.” But then Steve said, “When I was growing up, my dad and my brothers had an old fender hung up in the garage…whenever we needed to we’d go beat on it.” Besides details from the ways they had been raised, Steve is more passionate while Jan is more analytical. He has eyes of faith, while she looks at things through a more logic and practical perspective. As they talked about that Jan playfully said, “His ‘eyes of faith’ usually seem like ‘vain imagination’.” Steve responded with, “But your practicality and logic can be so unreasonable!” They both smiled when I asked them how they fought. Then they said, “You just saw it.” After they said that, they reflected and could only think of a few times where they actually yelled at each other, but Jan said that is because she was not as verbal as he is and that they still always had to express themselves and come to an agreement. That led smoothly into my question of “How often do you say ‘I’m sorry, will you please forgive me?’ to one another?” They said “That is SO important. We say that when we need to.” Jan said that something she found to be very helpful was to say “Why didn’t I think of that?” to Steve when they would argue. It helped because it was humbling and respectful of the other person’s perspective.

It was clear from the beginning of the interview that their kids and grandkids were of utmost importance to them. They said that the ages 2-6 were “magical”. When Jan smiled fondly and said, “He was made to have kids and to be a father”, a dreamy look came into Steve’s eyes and he said, “Those little arms…hugs around my neck, plays, choirs, band performances…coming home from work to those little arms…” When I asked how they’d kept things peaceful between their children (earlier they’d said that their children had all gotten along quite well. They fought behind their backs, of course, but for the most part they co-existed peacefully.) Jan said that they just expected that there would be peaceful co-existence. Nothing is more important that family and it was unique and beautiful that the siblings expressed love for one another.

I asked if they were satisfied in their marriage, though I was pretty sure I already knew the answer to that one. Steve said, “More so all the time.” He continued by saying that they were best friends and that the “romantic, sweet, and precious times” have and will continue to be wonderful with his wife. Finally, I asked, “How would you like to continue to grow in your relationship with each other?” Even though it was my last question for the interview, it led to more topics and discussions, but their answer was, “Well, we’ve got to think ‘What is ahead?’ we’ll get older, need more help, and eventually there will be a point where one of us is gone. So we will make sure that there is a plan and transition for the remaining one.” They said that while it is hard to look ahead, they will keep it going, have grace, and be prepared for whatever God brings.

Things changed, things changed them, and they aren’t anywhere close to how they imagined they would be or what they would be doing with their lives. But the change in plans, the detour and the new dreams that came turned out to be what was best. The way they embrace that is incredible. Before I walked out to my car Steve hugged me and said “Keep the shiny side up and stay in between the green.” While that was not the most impacting advice this couple gave me that evening, it is among the many things that I will never forget that they said to me.

It was a great experience for me. Thank you Steve and Jan for your examples, and words of encouragement! It means a lot to me!  :)