Barnyard Lessons of a Farm Kid

1. Leave gates how you found them. For actual gates...you don't want to accidentally let the neighbors bull out, or cut the herd off from their water source.  When opening and closing doors (no matter what kind of doors you encounter in your life) it is important to leave things how you found them. Don't leave a disaster where you passed through.Or, rather, don't leave a door open to allow some other disaster to come through.
We encounter doors or gates in our lives. When we walk through one called "Marriage," for example (disclaimer: I have very limited personal experience with marriage), it is vital that you shut the Marriage door behind you and your spouse. Leaving it open would just welcome an affair (aka a disaster) to walk through.
Another thing that comes to mind when talking about doors is closure. It's important, emotionally and mentally,to gain closure after seasons of life have ended. It's one reason we have graduation ceremonies. Closure enable us to move from one situation and transition into another with a certain amount of smoothness.

2. Do what the more experienced farmer suggests. His practice and experience far outweighs a youth's energy and abilities, but TOGETHER, the two can accomplish a ton! We all have people in our lives who know more a specific things than we do. Listen to them. It will save a lot of pain and toil in the long run.If you're young and energetic or can find extra time,consider yourself a candidate for action under the guidance of someone who has learned from more mistakes than you have, just because they have lived longer.

3.  Even a weed wont grow without dirt and water. Whatever is growing in your life is getting fed. If sin is growing in your life, you are somehow feeding your own sin. For healthy growth to occur, you have to feed and water the seeds, so it CAN grow.
So sin growth happens so quickly,and healthy growth seems to take SO long! A losing battle? Gosh I hope not. Please consider this seriously, though. If the sin in your life is outgrowing the healthy growth, that's a big signal that something in your life is feeding the weeds.

4. Everything comes back to water. Water this, water that. The cows need water, the chickens need water, the plants need water. Water. Water. Water. Spiritually, it is the same. It always comes back to needing the Living Water in our lives.Water is said to be the source of life. Frankly, it is quite important. Much more important than people like me who live in a very bless-by-rain and rivers part of the world don't often consider. Like I said, spiritually, life is similar. Do you want to be alive? Then let the Holy Spirit shake your spirit out of its stupor.

5. Your garden shows when you do or don't care for/about it. There is evidence displayed in our lives about what we care about. What you do, how your arrange your life, the words you use, etc, all display what you care about and what matters most to you.Other people see it laid out before you better than you do. Taking a critical eye to your garden can be helpful. Pull a weed here and there, get your rows straight, and for heavens sake, don't put the watermelon plants next to the beans if you want to be able to walk through the rows to pick the beans.

6. Sometimes the hay gets rained on...Well poop. However, chances are good that rain will help there be a second cutting, or maybe even a third cutting of hay, off the field. "Good" and "bad" stuff happens. Rain is just as necessary as sunshine, and all of it molds who and what we are.
Dark moments in our life throw us back to our knees (aka where we belong). After dark times and storms pass through our lives, there is damage...and even if it is crippling, there is still opportunity for God to make good out of it.

7. Use things how they were intended to be used.  A screw driver makes a horrible hammer.No, really. It does. It's awful. Don't ever try it.
But in other words, your stomach was made for food to be put in it. -cough- HEALTHY food to be but in it. There are consequences for binge-eating chips and oreos (oh, how I wish it were not the case. Alas!). Your veins were made to pump blood backed with oxygen throughout your body. NOT to be injected with doses of heroin to get high. Use what you have been given, whether it be your time, money, or body, the way it was intended to be used.

8. The grass is always greener somewhere else...unless you water your own yard! Take care of what you have.This one is similar to number 7 in some ways. But I still wanted to make it a separate one. You see, you have your little patch of pasture, garden, or yard, but if you don't take care of what you have, I promise it will wither and fade away. Worse yet, it may never come back. I have classes and homework to do throughout every single semester. Some of my other fellow students have super easy schedules, and sometimes (even though I relish the challenge of academia) their schedules look attractive. I have two options: to give up on my own and fail courses because that would be easier and I could spend more time with friends and family, or accept that they have a different life than I do and buckle down and get stuff done!

9. The best thing for us isn't necessarily what we want at the time. But go for it anyway, despite the pain, because better is the enemy of the best.
Sometimes help hurts. I have personally held a massive syringe and pierced the hide of a calf. Occasionally,the calf cries out in momentary discomfort. It's quite obvious that I hurt him, but he doesn't realize I did it so his infection would stop. Or shoving feeding tubes down a calf's throat so he doesn't dehydrate even though he's feeling sick. None of it is fun, and I've cried more than once having to perform those actions...for the calf's own good.
Similarly, sometimes the painful things we humans go through inoculate us against infections in our future or hydrate us somehow so we can live to see another day.

10. If you don't treat a wound, it will get worse. While I'm talking about infections and such...might as well mention that wounds happen, physically or emotionally or any way they come. Ignoring them will only allow them to fester. To keep it short, bitterness is a festering wound. Nuf said, so watch out. It ain't pretty, a person can smell it from far away,and it welcomes the wild dogs to come in for an easy kill.

11. There's nasty stuff out there, but if you're not willing to get crap on your hands, you won't get anything done.So crap is fertilizer. Yay...getting through it, though, enriches your life and enhances your field's produce. Unpleasant occurrences in your life can prepare your life for multiplied growth.

12.Let the chicks hatch on their own when they are ready.Let the flowers unfold in the sun when it is their time. Patience. Sure you want to see what is going to be the final product, but if you hurry a process, it won't turn out right! In your life, I'm willing to bet that there are things you wish would just hurry up. I have a few of those. Something I have learned is to let the timing just come. Sometimes a chick needs an extra day in the shell, and just maybe you did your math wrong when you counted up the number of days until hatching day.

13. Don't eat anything that you can get into your mouth.You are not a goat.By eating, I don't necessarily mean physical eating. You can consume things through your eyes and ears that is junk. However, since you're NOT a goat, it's a good idea to be careful about what you allow inside of yourself.

14. Last but not least for this post,I love geese.


So, there are a lot of things I have learned from growing up on a farm. I don't doubt that there are many lessons like this that city kids could teach me, but I for myself, I would never trade my upbringing for anything different. Thank you, Lord, for lessons in life through the things that surround us, even if they seems so ordinary.

Predisposed

Genetically, I am pre-disposed to being blunt. Well...at least, the voices in my head are pretty blunt. I've never had DNA samples taken (that I know of...I've donated blood, so a whole host of opportunities for having been genetically tested could, hypothetically, come into play. Aside from that, I'm don't know if there is a gene attached to bluntness anyway...) From what I understand, however, as disgusting as it may sound, I leave Deoxyribonucleic acid  samples wherever I go. I don't mean to, of course, and it IS kind of gross when I really think about it, but...I'm leaving little pieces of myself, my DNA, my proteins of genetic instruction and molecules that describe the physical/material part of who I am, EVERYWHERE. 

With every stray hair that has clung to my wool pea-coat and finally falls off wherever I am (actually, I wish they just FELL off easier than they really do..), to the flaking skin that comes off when I suffer dry skin from winter weather, I leave pieces of DNA all over the place. 


I'm temped to be apologetic. But then I realize that I have to deal with the things that flake or fall off of you as well. Thanks, and yes, I still think it's kind of gross. I'll tolerate your stray hairs clinging to a sweater if you can deal with mine. Deal?

So what does this have to do with bluntness? Oooh yeeeah, THAT is what she was talking about originally! Not much, since I wasn't actually talking about bluntness, per se. 

I actually wanted to talk about how simple life is. While that may seem like a gigantic jump from bluntness to talking about things you haven't dealt with since chemistry class when you were a sophomore in high school, just keep your shirt on cuz it's cold outside and hope I can reconcile the topics to one another by the end. 

I made a claim that life is simple.

If you looked at me right now, you'd probably say something like, "Well well, look at you! You sip your creamy, whole milk and munch that glazed donut while you sit behind your laptop just typing it up. YOUR life is simple."
I'd immediately be offended, of course. My jaw would drop open, I'd probably give you a look that you got from your mother on occasion (ya know, that one with the eyebrows raised that says, "I heard you, but my silence is an opportunity for you to try to un-say what you just said to me"). 

Everything inside me would scream, "You don't know anything about me! My life isn't SIMPLE. You think my life is EASY? How dare you." 
Suddenly we are in an argument and I remind you that I found a hair that wasn't my color in my salad last time you made dinner for me, and we are stepping on each other's toes and rubbing our DNA on each other as we land a punch or two.
My life is different than yours, but I guarantee I struggle with things, and life looks so twisted and confusing and complicated sometimes. I understand that yours is like that because mine is, too

People are little messes bumping into each other, creating not-so-little messes that turn into hurricanes of destruction on down the line. Then, when we finally can't ignore that we have an alcohol problem, or can't stop shopping, that we are so addicted to pinterest that we have 5,000 new recipes to try and no time to go to the store or cook because we have to keep pinning...it finally hits us in the face that our finances are sinking, that our jobs are going no where, that we are in piles of debt because of an education that is next to useless...it sinks in that we'd be better people, and maybe, just MAYBE even happier or CONTENT with ourselves and our lives if we just lost that extra ten pounds hanging around our thighs, or could afford Starbucks every morning, or stopped yelling at our kids, or got to meetings on time for once...

Then we find books to read that say things like, "Self help! Because obviously, you suck" or "Want to be successful? Try these 12 steps, but fair warning, number 7 is tricky, and if you can't talk in front of a crowd already, just forget it." 

So how can I possibly say that life is simple? Ha! Right. What-eva. 
Why is that simple? I believe it is simple because real life, that which is submitted to God, becomes exceedingly simple in the sense that you only have to do one thing with how you make choices and how you live your life. 

Life, to me and those on earth who would identify themselves with Christianity, is life with Christ. Everything becomes extremely simple when you realize that. At least, it does for me when I wake up in the morning and remind myself of it day after day. Jesus is in charge of me. 
Recognizing the need for obedience simplifies everything down to the IQ of humanity when we just see who is in charge. 
What I mean is that REAL life is life with Christ at the wheel. Not just at the wheel, but as the entire vehicle. 

It's called obedience. What is the one thing? To obey Him. 
May I suggest that the self help and 12 step ideas are nice...but totally off base? 

What if there is no 12 stepper at all. What if it's not that complicated. What if you just have to get to know Jesus better and better throughout the rest of your life? What if it is that simple?

You see...doing it (whatever "it" is for you) all right whether it is the first or fiftieth time isn't necessarily the point. Obedience to God is. Being perfect is pretty complicated, but being real is fairly simple.
 
My life is simple because I have made one choice that pre-determines all of the other choices I want to make in my life. I have chosen to be obedient to God about everything of which my life consists. The point isn't me fixing myself by cleaning up the lovely little mess of my life. The point is being obedient to God with everything that I have and everything that I am. It gets so simple! The complexities melt away into freedom to obey. Freedom do do what is best for you to begin with!
That doesn't mean that I never struggle with the mind-boggling complexities of being human...it just means that I can find peace in simple obedience to the One who knows me best and knows what is best for me. I gulp deep breaths of that freedom as often as I remember to. 

I should also note that the word "simple" does not mean, in any way, "easy." 
What is EASY is to give in to believing that life is horrifically complicated but somehow you have to figure it out. 
It is EASY to go about life and do it all your own way, but it gets so dang complicated when ya screw up.

 Not easy, though. Especially when my pride gets in the way or I find traces of your DNA mess mixing with my DNA mess. Sure it's irritating that we get in each other's way. But is is a life that is full of joy. Granted, this lesson for me has been years in coming, and I'm not done with it yet.

So my genetic predisposition for bluntness...about that...It's not all bad! Those of you who are blunt understand the deep sense of satisfaction being able to voice what you think brings to you. We share that, brothers and sisters! But it DOES have some faults...haha. On one hand, my ability to be blunt will come in handy when I need to say something difficult to somebody. On the other hand, however, I probably should not have just asked that girl over there what her ethnicity is since I can NOT tell underneath all the makeup she is wearing. If it was mystery she was going for, she has gone way too far and needs to stop shopping at clown stores...(I'm just kidding. I didn't say anything! I promise!)

So when I accidentally leave DNA samples of my bluntness around, have grace for me! I'm doing my best to be obedient, it's not necessarily an easy way to live (which, frankly, isn't what I want in life anyway!), I'm not likely to do it flawlessly, and I'm dealing with your DNA samples of your issues wherever I go, too. ;)  I know that God is good. In order for me to be obedient, as I have chosen to be, I will follow in his ways of goodness by getting to know him better day by day. 

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It Is By Our Love...

What would it look like it Christians focused on being like Jesus and loving others right where they are, regardless of why kind of mess they are making of their lives?

What if we did that, and let the Holy Spirit do his job. The convicting part. Dats na' my job! Dats hiiiiz job.
 It is my place to love, and it is his to convict. That is not to say, however, that there aren't circumstances where is appropriate to correct others or help mold behaviors and aspects of a life, but allowing the Spirit room to do his own work will be complimented by the display of love from Jesus shown by Christians. Ultimately, that will draw more souls to God than berating, scolding, or harshness.
 It is by our love (and love for one another despite our differences) that they will know we are the people of God.

If I look out at the world and despair at what I see,
 all I have to do is look within myself
 to see the change that God has worked inside of me.
Then I can begin to understand that
Somehow there is a plan,
and God is molding the world around me
Just like he is shaping the heart inside me.

All is Well

When my heart is paralyzed in unrest

When my soul in desperate need for clarity, and all I see is trouble haunting all my steps

When my forehead is creased, knitted too tightly with disquiet threads of worry and doubt

And my hands find themselves clasped in agonized anticipation for the unknown to come about

I must…I simply MUST to myself retell

That all is well, all is well, all is well, all is well.

-Brenna Swoboda

8/14/13 

Self Love or Loving Yourself? Are They The Same?

For a long time I used to think that the phrase, "you need to love yourself" was stupid. Because...that's selfish, right? And really, I'd have to hate myself in order to be sacrificial for others, yadda yadda. 
What I didn't realize at the time was that it wouldn't have even qualified as "sacrifice" if there wasn't love for oneself involved somehow. (Looky there, tangent already in the first paragraph...)

Pertaining to this topic, I used to take issue with a line in one of my favorite songs by the band Lifehouse. In the song "Whatever It Takes" there is a line that says, "Like it or not, it's the way it has to be. You have to love yourself if you could even love me." Then goes "..I'll do whatever it takes to turn this around..." You have probably heard the song before. "Like it or not," huh? Well, I didn't like it.

In the song, it's a girl telling the guy she loves that he has to love himself before he could ever really love her. For the longest time I took a stance of "sure whatever." After all, what girl in her right mind would want a guy who loved himself? Isn't that a little self-absorbed and cocky sounding? Humility is a grand personality trait for a significant other, and loving of the self doesn't seem to match up with that.  Frankly, if you can't tell already, the idea that someone had to love himself before loving someone else made me a little mad, and I wrestled with it for...years. Pretty much since the song came out in '07 (yeah that's right, in high school).  Looking back now, it probably angered me because I was SO sure that I was perfectly capable of loving another person without having a particular attachment or affection for myself.  However, that just showed me that I had a skewed perspective of what love really is. 

I'm not even saying that I know what love is even today. I do know, though, that my perspective has changed and that there is a good chance that it is at least a little more similar to God's perspective now than it was before. I don't understand all of it, but I have experienced what I will go on to say to be true. 

So back to it...

I was sure that having to love yourself before you could love someone else was silly. It didn't  make sense to me because it sounded so selfish. And! As it turns out, my idea that I was capable of loving others without loving myself was completely wrong. So wrong. Not only wrong, but sinful and self-righteous. Now, loving yourself and self-righteousness are too totally different things. Opposites really. Self-righteousness is loving yourself because of your LACK of flaws, while loving yourself is loving DESPITE your flaws. (See what I did there? ;)  

Finally, I started  ("started" meaning, I'm still in the process) to learn what loving oneself means and why it is vital. 
Vital, she says? Why vital? (Or better question...why third person? o.O)

It's vital because of WHERE love comes from. Love comes from...surprise! God. And if I call myself a Christian, I am called to love what God loves. So...well, God loves me, so I need to love me, too. It's not even like I have somehow hidden the rotten parts of me from him and he blindly thinks I'm put together and lovable.  He isn't fooled. Though I may not know the full extent of my brokenness and my sinfulness, I am not fooled either. I know I'm messed up. But he still loves me. I'm not only supposed to love WHAT he does, but also LIKE he does.
 He loves me unconditionally. 
Dang, right? I have to love myself unconditionally.

The other important part about it is this: you can't give what ya ain't got.
Meaning, if you don't have love, if you don't have a habit of accepting God's love for you, then you won't be able to sustain a habit of being able to give love to others. If a well is dry, everyone goes thirsty. I"ll say it again: You cannot provide what you do not already have to give. Fortunately love is supplied for us from God's unending love.
(Tangent alert! This idea doesn't just apply to love. You can't give what ya don't have of anything. Not just the obvious material things, but the deeper and more meaningful things as well. Things like Peace, Comfort, Courage, etc. But God supplied those, as well.)

Sometimes I think the problem is that we don't believe God when he tells us he loves us in the first place. If we are choosing not to believe what God says, why should he tell us and demonstrate something for us if we simply refuse to believe it? It isn't like he has even hidden the demonstration of his love from us. I mean, really. He kind of literally DIED to show you. Which brings me full circle to that sacrifice thing at the beginning which might not actually have been a bunny trail.

Jesus is in love with his people. FYI, WE are his people. To repair broken relationship with us, he SACRIFICED his life for us. He was so full of love from the Father that he was CAPABLE of unconditionally (without any conditions and with no real guarantee that his love would be reciprocated back to him) loving the people who rejected him to the point (and beyond) of dying. His relationship with the Father has always been the most important thing to Jesus since they are one. His relationship and love in the Father is important, that he doesn't even need a list of priorities. It is because of that intense love for...himself that he sacrificed...himself for what he also loves and wants to be one with. Us. (This is my understanding at this point. Maybe someday I will learn how to articulate it better.) It's because of his love, the very source of real love, that true sacrifice is possible. 

Loving yourself isn't self love in a selfish way when the love comes from God. It is loving with the love he loves us with. Like that Lifehouse song says, "You gotta love yourself of you can ever love me." Can we really love anything if we can't love who God has made us to be? If Love is a Person (aka, God) then we must have love for what he loves. In loving ourselves, it is not that we are done being perfected or that we don't have things in us that still need to be transformed, tweaked or removed . But he loves us 100% anyway. He loves us completely and totally right now. He has made it so that we can learn to love ourselves. He loves you. Ask him. But be willing to believe him when he answers. 

So I say, God, help us love what you love so we are able to love others with the love you give.