Lull Me

Lull me into your sweet
Embrace
Where I can taste your love
And grace
I know there is a deeper
Place
Where we see each other
Face to face

This I want: to be only
Yours
of this I desire to
Be sure
No other love is such a
Cure
And no other is near
So pure.

Declaring Dreams

Whenever the opportunity arises, I love to go swing dancing. For years now I've made it down to the Casaloma Ballroom to try out my dancing and have fun with friends. Recently having started school at a different location, I managed to connect myself into the Swing Dance Club here. Being a part of the group here has been fantastic because not only do I learn so much from these guys and gals, but they are great people to spend time with. So the other night, we went adancin'.

There we were, our own group of 10 or so people, among scores of others there for the same purpose. Having fun. It turned out that an extension of our group managed to make it that night as well, so there were many people that knew one other if only vaguely, but all were happily introduced. After the brief refresher course was given, we all got down to it. The gentlemen wasted no time in swinging with their gals and those of us who were there without designated partners (like me) didn't have to wait long before people switched partners. That is one great thing about swing dance. It is an unspoken rule that you dance with several different people. Not that you haaaave to if you and your partner don't want to, but everyone typically takes advantage of learning from other people's moves or styles. It's great. 

So we're all dancing the night away, right? Yup. Then I was asked to dance by a friend of one of my group members. Another thing you should know if you are new to swing dance is that it is a social dance. Which, yes, that means you can do it with loads of other people, but it also means that you talk and dance at the same time. Again, not a rule, but it is typical to carry on a conversation as you swing around to the upbeat music. After we'd introduced ourselves, we skipped out to an open space and started talking and dancing. After a little while once we'd gotten past where we went to school, what year we were in school, majors, and all that normal stuff, he asked me a question that surprised me. "So what is your dream?"

[insert dramatic pause as I mentally scrambled around for some coherent answer.] I can't say that I often get asked that question, so for one, I was surprised. But for two, whenever I do get asked that question, I always feel lame as I say "I don't know," or "Wish I knew." In fact, even when I did have something that I dreamed of doing, I was strongly encouraged by leaders to "dream bigger" and I can't tell you how many times when someone has prophesied over me their words from God have been "don't be limited, dream dream dream, it's okay because God's imagination is bigger." For some reason, dreaming a night in my sleep is not rare and certainly no difficulty, but releasing myself to imagine what I amazing things I want to do with the time that I have here on earth...erg. I smack into the brick wall of my own disbelief in what God can do in me. 

So ya know what I said? I said, "I'd like to write a couple books and be a mom someday." Both perfectly good and honorable things to do in one's life, but as the words came out my mouth my mind rushed back to all the times I'd been encouraged to really dream about what I wanted to do, and that as great as those things were, my answer didn't show much proof of careful thought or creativity. Not only that, but when I asked him the same question, his answer put mine to shame. He said, "I want to show the hand of God through the arts." Simple, great, and so much more descriptive of the dream of a God-honoring individual than my answer. I have to laugh at myself because this guy showed me up in a really good way. He showed me up in the sense that he had no idea I am a Christian as well, but was willing to just throw out there what he wants to do with his life. He didn't know that the time we spent dancing to a song would turn into a brief but encouraging discussion about our similar views on God (just like I didn't know either), but he was willing to toss out his question and springboard the conversation towards God. 

I was impressed and encouraged by his example. Not only that, but I realized something about myself. If I want to glorify God and make him known to others throughout my lifetime, I need to be able to express vision for my life beyond the desire to getting published and chase kids around. I need to have a ready answer. What is my dream? What do I want to be remembered for? How do I want to show God to the world? What wild things could my imagination come up with, that God doesn't either have something better in mind, or that He couldn't make happen? 

I'm still thinking on this. I'm taking my time to come up with an answer that more fully expresses who I am and what I am working towards. Since my life revolves around and is (I hope) more increasingly more in love with Jesus, His name should be mentioned in my statement of purpose. At the very least, my answer should be, "I want to glorify God through writing books and being a mother," but I have a feeling that if I seriously take the words of my leaders to dream bigger into consideration, my answer will evolve into something different. 

Like I said, I'm still thinking on it, but I wanted to share my little story and encourage you to not only dream bigger for yourself, but to have an answer for any stranger who might happen to ask what your life is about. I hope you do what I failed to do, which is to name the Maker of your life in the desired purpose of your life. 

Collection of Two-Liners

The darkest shadow that is cast
Will one day cease to last.

And when all time of greif is spend
Joy is given, not just lent.

When friends clasp hands they never part
Not always in body, but in their hearts.

The miracles that grace the day
Are not fickle, but are here to stay.

When time is up and life is spent
Then we'll know how things really went.

Smooth as butter, sweet as milk
Your love glides over me like silk.

Happy in the sweet divine,
I am Your's and You are mine.

Cartoon on Time

God is outside of time - which means he isn't limited by it the way I am. To me, that is a truth that brings me much relief.

Before an Adventure

"If someone had told me, would I have listened?" 

I wondered that when pondering a list of things I had recently added to my well (however deep or shallow) of knowledge and experience. 

Well, if someone DID tell me the things I'm about to share with you, I didn't listen. I know that because I don't remember anyone telling me these things, therefore, if someone did, I wasn't listening.
I had to learn them the harder way. Don't get me wrong, learning them wasn't bad! It was priceless. However, I think I'll still share just a few things about leaving the life you knew for an indefinite amount of time, and then eventually returning to it. My hope is that at some point, you (my readers) will have an opportunity to do something like an internship, take some time to travel, church program, or a school of some sort that will allow you experiences beyond what you could know yet. 

So picture it! 

You're heading off to a grand adventure! You have little to zero idea what waits for you when you arrive. There's nervousness, excitement, hope, and fear all mixed together like a chunky smoothie. You choke on one lump of emotion at a time and can never predict which one will hit you next. Exciting! Then a chunk of horror hits you as you realize how ridiculous you are for doing what you're planning on doing soon. But then the next moment you're struck with all the new possibilities that will be coming your way as a result of your risk-taking. You haven't left yet, but you've mentally noted where the suitcases are stored and are mentally making a list of people to invite to that send-off party. That's where you stand at the moment.

Now...here are some things I wish someone had told me when I stood where you do now:

-----
1) Whatever unresolved situations you leave...chances are, they will still be unresolved when you return. While that does kinda suck if there are any unresolved situations in your life, God says "live at peace with all men as far as it depends on you" so do what is necessary on your part to resolve things. (I'm not saying you do, but I did have unresolved situations and I came back and still had to resolve them.) The situations that cause you issues wait for your return and pounce at the weak moments when you don't know why you even came back. Learned that the hard way, sooooo thought I'd tell you.

2) Do not be surprised if you find yourself doubting everything you've ever known or thought. It's normal, and it's actually good. It's refining of your thoughts and perspective and perfect for God to show you HIS thoughts and HIS perspective. Doubt has a purpose. That purpose is to strengthen your desire for truth and for that truth to set you free when you apply it to your life. Just make sure you are intentionally putting yourself in a healthy environment that encourages spiritual growth and feeds you truth. But do some truth searching for yourself, too! Don't wait for thing to be fed to you if you have the means to feed yourself as well.

3)  More than likely...you will get lonely. I know I did. I was/am gifted with feeling lonely when surrounded by people. It's also why I tend to diligently keep myself from boredom...because the next step is to feel lonely. BUT. When you're in a new place, surrounded by completely new or sometimes worse, the saaaaame people day in and day out,..you may get lonely. 
Almost, not the most, but almost the worst thing to do then...is to contact people from home. Yes, there are times when it's necessary and very good for you! Keep up with them by all means! But in those lowest moments...it's not always helpful to hear that familiar voice when you need to be able to function away from close friends and family. But I'm not about to tell you NOT to contact that...no no.
 But part of the point of being away is so you learn how to cope and thrive in a situation foreign to your previous life. You work with what you've been given to ease the pains of loneliness. 
It's also the purrrfect time to kneel before God and recognize that Jesus was utterly abandoned on the cross and he knows what loneliness is like. And to thank him for never ever ever ever leaving or forsaking you. And learning to let God's peace take over and let his companionship ease the pain. 

So before you make that call home, have a chat with Heaven first.  ;)

I hope everyone, at some point, gets to go on a grand adventure. This life IS an adventure, so adventures within this adventure can be soooo great! :) Take that step. Take that risk. Be all there, and don't miss a moment of it. Wherever you are on whatever adventure, allow God the room to do what he wants in you. It is always worth it.